Where is my phone?

See You on the Other Side

The time has come.  I have thought of doing this for a long time.  This most recent "break" in Livejournal was the proverbial nail in the coffin.


Come see me.  This site will continue to exist, but I won't be updating here anymore.  Why "Bowl Cake"?  It's amazing what creative names are not available.  It's the only one I found that I liked.  "Stinky Britches" was unfortunately taken.
Where is my phone?

LJ is Broked

Livejournal (what you are reading) is quite broken.  Broken into disjointed little bits.  I have things to share and photos to post.  But alas, it shall not be for a couple days more.  If I spend more than a few minutes on here it freezes up and turns inside out.  Much like a sea cucumber.

I made a cake.  It was fun.  Someday I will show it to you.
Where is my phone?

You're My Boy, Blue!

Way back in 2005 I joined the rest of the world and got my first cell phone.  A Motorola flip phone that has been with me ever since.  That's right.  I am THAT person.  The person who never upgrades their devices.

It's just that I never saw a reason for me to upgrade.  All I needed a phone for was calls and texts.  Why would I ever need more than that?  So I skipped that whole phase of phones that play music.  Because why the hell would I ever want to listen to music on my phone?  And I skipped that phase of phones with slide out keyboards to help you with your texting and emailing addiction. Cause yeah, didn't need that.

My little flip phone and I have done just fine, thank you very much.  But then. . . yeah. . .there is always a "but then".  The battery life started to go.  I was constantly charging it and getting caught out with a phone on the verge of dying.  Ol' Blue was dying. 

And for the past 3 weeks in a row I have gotten lost while out visiting businesses and soliciting for sales.  3 weeks in a row.  Something that could be prevented if I either had a GPS or a smartphone.  And why buy a GPS when they cost the same amount as a smartphone and only do one thing?

Yup.  The time has come.  Looky what's I gots!  I'm having lots of fun learning how to use this mini computer.  I have joined the new age.


Where is my phone?

I'm Sorry, TicketMaster Lady

I discovered today that my next vacation is 6 weeks away.  That seems like an eternity.  In 6 weeks I will be 13 weeks along.  I'm not sure if we are going anywhere.  Morgan wants to go to the beach.  I want to stay home and pet my (hopefully showing by then) belly while watching really bad movies.  Ahhhh. . .doesn't that sound wonderful?

Why was I counting the weeks till temporary freedom?  Because my Crazy Boss Lady showed her un-professionalism today in a way that made me look like an ass.  We had a visit from our Regional TicketMaster Rep today.  She drove over 4 hours to come visit our location, check our equipment, and make sure we are now issue free with the selling system.  We have known about this visit for a week.  Crazy Boss Lady forgot.  So as I am grabbing my notes and headed out to meet the TM Rep at the Info Desk she says to me "Hey, don't let that lady take up too much of your time!  You have more important things to do today!"  Which I ignored.  If we have a contract with you, and you drive over 4 hours to come see me, then you are more than welcome to have my undivided attention for as long as you need it.

35 minutes later Crazy Boss Lady showed up at the desk to remind me that I have a 2pm conference call.  I was confused.  I didn't remember their being a conference call scheduled for today.  So I said goodbye to the TicketMaster Rep, apologized for not taking her out for lunch, and quickly shuffled back to the office for this mysterious conference call scheduled to start in 3 minutes.  A conference call that didn't exist.  A conference call my CBL invented because the TM rep had taken up enough of my time already.

Seriously?  TM is bringing us a lot of business, money, customers.  You know, those things we desperately need!  And this rep drives a hell of a long way for 35 minutes of face time?  And isn't it common courtesy that if a business contact comes to visit your property you take them out to lunch to thank them for their time?  Isn't that how things are supposed to work?  Nope, not in CBL's world.  Professional courtesy does not exist.

And what was so important that I had to come back to the office and not spend any more time with the TM rep?  Making my follow up calls to the churches I have visited in the past week.  Follow up calls that could have waited till tomorrow.  Nothing immediate.  Nothing more important than the rep for a company that is making us quite a bit of money.

In Other News - the terrible Dr mentioned in the prior post did call me today to let me know I don't have a urinary tract infection and to see if the antibiotics he gave me are helping at all.  That's all very nice except that I'm not having any urinary issues and he didn't give me any antibiotics.  Yup.  Wrong patient.  If there was any doubt that he will never see me again this pretty much cleared that up.  THANK YOU to everyone who commented or sent well wishes after I poured my heart out about Monday's appointment.  Thank you so much.  It helped to calm me down.  It helped me a lot.
Where is my phone?

Mr. OB Dr., I'm Not Sure I Like You

The longest three hours of my life just came to an end about half an hour ago.  I write this while still on an adrenaline high and still a little teary.  I will try to make this story short.  No promises.

Today I had my first appointment with the regular OB.  I was really excited to be able to see what life is like on the other end of the fertility spectrum.  A waiting room full of pregnant ladies.  People actually talking in the waiting room instead of staring straight forward in complete silence and refusing to make eye contact with anyone.  A husband and wife sitting in the corner bitching about their 3 kids at home and now the 4th one is on the way, how miserable.  It was fun, I felt a little like a spy.

After a long wait I get back to the exam room and my Dr does a complete work up on me.  This is when I get my first little tinge of "I don't like you" towards this man.  Reason - he keeps commenting on how my cervix bleeds every time he pokes it!  WTF?  Then stop poking it!  What are you doing?!?  But he then crawls back out of my vagina and says everything is fine and it's nothing to worry about.  Then why were you poking it?  I don't think I like you.

Then he breaks out the ultrasound machine.  Now, I realize that I am a little spoiled by the fancy equipment they have at Shady Grove Fertility.  And I didn't expect them to have the newest of the brightest machines.  However, the man pulled out what looked like an Apple IIe with a dirty yellow stick that is the internal ultrasound wand.  This thing was straight out of the 80's.  How is this possible?  This is the most commonly recommended OB office in all of Frederick and THIS is their ultrasound machine?  Oh Shit.

During the ultrasound I kept hearing a lot of "Hmmmm. . . . yeah."  A lot of unhappy face was up in my vagina.  He didn't say a word.  He just kept sighing and shaking his head.  I went into worry mode.  "I don't see a heartbeat."  And with that horrifying statement he pulled the ultrasound wand out and turned the machine off.  He then started going into the speech of what we do next. 

"No heartbeat means miscarriage.  I am very sorry.  I know this is hard."

NOT what I was prepared to hear today.

"Now I am going to send you to a specialist just to make sure they don't see a heartbeat either.  And then we can discuss if you wish to loose the baby naturally or have another D&C"

I FEEL like I am going to pass out.

"You can get dressed now and my assistant will get your referral prepared for you.  Have a nice day."

As I am sure you can imagine panic the likes of which no one should ever have to experience filled my body and I am amazed I was able to function enough to put clothes on, let alone drive to a different Dr office.  And please keep in mind that I am alone.  Morgan is at work.  I told him there was no point to coming to this appointment when he just saw an ultrasound on Thursday.  I am alone and in total and utter panic.

This is where I will fast forward almost 2 hours.  This specialist office is more like what I am used to.  Everything is shiny and new and all the equipment is state of the art.  I am led to an exam room with the biggest ultrasound machine I have ever seen in my life.  It looks like a control panel from Star Trek.  And there is a HUGE flat screen Tv mounted on the wall so you can watch the ultrasound image up there and larger than life.  It's all kinds of awesome.  That beautiful ultrasound tech was in my coot for all of 3 seconds before she showed me the biggest and most amazing heartbeat you have ever seen!  Strong.  Loud.  Regular.  Healthy.  This is when the flood gate broke and I cried like someone just shot my puppy.  Big ugly cry.  Crying while trying soooo hard to stop so I could see the baby without the blur of tears in the way.  The tech must be used to this sort of thing.  She calmly explained to me that the machines my OB uses are very outdated (already knew that!) and that it's not surprising they could not pick up a heartbeat at 7 weeks.  She keeps the image of the baby and the audio of the heartbeat up till I finally stop crying.  Bless her.

And thus ends the longest three hours of my life.  I'm not sure I want to go back to that OB office.  I know I don't want to see that man again.  There are 3 Dr's at this practice and I don't think I would have the option of not seeing this man in particular.  From what I was told they take turns with the patients.  I called out from work when I was on my way to see the specialist.  So at least I have the rest of the day to calm my ass down and perhaps consult the internets on different OB practices in my area.  I'm exhausted.

Happy Monday, everyone!
Where is my phone?

One Hell of a Happy Dog

Alex is just over 6 months old now.  And he is a horse of a dog.  He is huge.  He has grown a good 2 or 3 inches in height since the last time I saw him, on June 18th!  And he has become the center of my brother's family.  Everything revolves around either swim meets or the dog.  Just look at how spoiled this beast is. 

A wrestling and rooting partner.

A snuggler and excellent ear rubber.

And dog parents who take him out to get pup cups from Rita's!  Spoiled rotten!

As you can tell I visited my family today.  It was a great visit and while the kids were off playing I let Ian, Mel, and my mom know about the baby!  Everyone is happy and excited for us.  Although I find it awkward that the very first question from both my SIL and my mom (they were told at separate times during the day) was "So was this baby made the old fashioned way, or did you have to use that Dr?"

Really?  That is the first question you have for me?  Not "when are you due?" or "when did you find out?" or "how far along are you?"

Nope.  Apparently my family still has not accepted the fact that I am infertile and this is not something that is possible for me without help.  In fact they were both disappointed when I let them know the baby is a result of IUI.  A little pout face was made.  Really.

But it was a great day, a very tasty lunch, and a very impressive display of swim medals and ribbons won by the girls this year.  They are really into their swim meets.  It is serious business in the house of S-bert.  Plus Alex is awesome.
Where is my phone?

The Epic Battle of my Stomach

So, I'm pregnant and stuff.  And because of that I have a combination of responsibility to eat right and food aversions.  I am the first to admit that on any given day I am not the healthiest of eaters.  I love processed foods.  The potato, in an form, is an amazing thing.  I love boxed whatevers.  Tuna Helper might be the best thing that has ever been invented and then shipped out to the masses in dehydrated, boxed form.  And contrary to what Anthony Bourdain would tell you, I think the McDonald's Chicken McNugget is absolutely delicious.  As is McDonald's Sweet & Sour sauce.  Hmm. . .now I am hungry.

I have been trying my best to be good.  My snacks at work consist mostly of red bell peppers dipped in ranch salad dressing.  My crackers are whole grain.  I'm ignoring the freezer full of ice cream. No potato chips for me, thanks.  But I can't pass up those french fries drenched in malt vinegar!  Baby needs ketchup.

Then add in my pregnancy food aversions.  Some of the aversions have worked in my favor - candy is gross.  But then the others.  Ugh.  Meat.  Meat is so gross.  Gross to the extreme.  So gross that last night for dinner my husband had a huge, juicy steak and I had cheesy rice and broccoli.  The steak smelled good, certainly looked great.  But yuck!  Same thing with chicken (but the roast chicken we made last week was fine!), shrimp, beef of any kind, sausage, pork, etc.  Finding meat sources that I can stomach right now is difficult.

But I am doing my best.  Luckily veggies and I are still on a first name basis.  Milk is my buddy.  Cheese would never turn it's back on me.  And I am forcing the issue on things like the dreaded fruit.  Although mostly in V8 juice form.  Plus I am forcing myself to eat salads.  In my over weight opinion there is nothing more wasted than the space a salad fills.  Pointless, almost flavorless, raw veggies and lettuce that you can only hope to stuff past your palate and not get killer gas from.  But I'm being a good girl and trying my hardest.  It helps that the tomatoes are from our garden and super yummy.

But still.  Ugh.  How gross.  Colorful and pretty, but not appetizing at all.  See those raw carrots?  Gag.

Now THAT'S more like it!  Hey, there is only so much a girl can do.  Baby's gonna have to meet me half way on the salad issue.  Sorry kiddo.

Where is my phone?

I Sense an Imbalance in the Force

The husband and I went out to dinner tonight.  The following conversation really happened.

Me:  "Is my undershirt crooked?"
Him:  "Yeah.  Like really crooked.  What's wrong with your shirts?  They always do that."
Me:  "Not all of my shirts!  And I think it's cause my boobs aren't getting bigger at the same rate."
Him, with a mouthful of food:  "Yeah, I noticed."
Me:  "What?  You can tell?  OMG.  Really?"
Him, pausing and studying my chest while chewing:  "Oh yeah.  Like that one is way bigger than that one."
Me:            (stunned and horrified silence)
Him:  "Oh come on!  It's not that big a deal. Besides, it's temporary.  Right?"
Me:            (concerned silence)
Him:  "Right?"

I certainly hope things even out soon.  I now have a complex and think there might be a secondary reason why people stare at my chest quite often. 

The fabulous news of the day is that I graduated!  I am no longer a patient of Shady Grove (cracks me up that they refer to it as a graduation) and have my first appointment with a regular OB on Monday!  Our last appointment with SGF today was a great one.  Morgan came with me to see the second ultrasound.  He got to see little Mongo and the heartbeat.  He was very excited.

I will post an ultrasound photo.  I promise.  Again, you really can't tell what you are looking at.  But I will post one.  I just don't have time to do it tonight.  Goodnight!
Where is my phone?

Wow. What a Monday

Yesterday was quite a day.  It was one of those days that just seemed like it wasn't going to end.  Let me walk you thru my Monday.

1.  Cat projectile vomited.  From a seated position up high so the vomit had maximum allowed spread factor.  On the cat condo, on the floor, on Morgan's comic books.  And let me assure you that cleaning up hot cat vomit while suffering pregnancy (Yay!) related exaggerated gag reflex is not so full of the fun.

2.  Customer, reading a hiring list posted at the Info Desk - "Little Man Jewelers, where is that?"
     Me - "Do you mean Littman Jewelers?  It's around the corner on your right."
     Customer - "What is that?  Is it a jewelry store?"
     Me, after staring blankly at the person waiting for her stupid ass to walk away from me but she did not - "Yes."

3.  A mother and her 4 year old boy came up to renew their membership in the kids club.  She pulled out her wallet to pay.  Now, I don't know where you keep your wallet at, but I am guessing it's not in your panties.  She pulled her wallet out of her panties.  She paid me with cash money taken from a wallet kept in her panties.  Panties.  WTF?

4.  A man purchased a $500 giftcard and paid debit.  I asked him to please enter his PIN number and instead he said his PIN number out loud for me to enter it.  Really.

5.  Someone in the office drank my milk.  This doesn't sound like a big deal, but I drink these little milk bottles to help combat the horrible indigestion that comes with pregnancy.  (Yay!)   It was my last bottle.  Someone drank half of it, despite my initials on the lid, and then put it back in the fridge for me.  Thanks.  Then I went to Chick fil a to buy new milk and they sold me expired milk which I didn't have time to replace once I had noticed.  So I was denied my milk.  Sad face.

6.  A gas main break cause 270 N and S to be closed at rush hour.  This meant that all traffic was diverted to the roads that I normally drive home on.  It took me an hour & a half to get home last night.

7.  Storm.  Big storm.  Big storm cause power outage.  Power outage cause husband to go a little crazy because he is a slave to air conditioning and fans.  I admit those things are kinda important on a 100 degree day, but the sun was going down and it had just rained.  Power tries to come back on at about 10:30 which causes the sky to the front side of our house to light up like an amusement park.  Standing on our front porch we watch in confusion as a throbbing buzzing noise radiates from every house in the neighborhood and intense light and smoke bursts from the trees maybe 500 ft from our house.  Power surge stops.  Firetrucks come.  An hour later they finally do restore power to the neighborhood and the husband can relax again with his precious fan.  We go to bed just before midnight.